No… not basketball. That’s always irrelevant.

Life is such an interesting thing, since humans are such complex beings. Thoughts constantly change and influences sway us in multiple directions. Emotions are fleeting and often unpredictable as situations change. Everything depends on perspective. Everything. Right now I’m happy because I choose to be. Circumstances are not perfect; they never are. Regardless, there is way too much in life to be thankful for. Even if there seems to be no good in your life, there is always goodness there that can be shared with others.

Life these days is conceptually so selfish. This “me” society that has no patience teaches us that we must put ourselves first and always expect convenience. “Go look at this picture of myself, ‘like’ it, give me a sense of worth that I can’t find within myself, and do it now.” The problem is that people cannot sit in an empty room by themselves for more than a minute before going stir crazy- in essence, cannot put themselves in a place where their own convenience is forsaken. What happened to a bigger purpose and selflessness? People no longer know how to have any concept of self-worth and self-respect without reassurance from others (you can ask me about my idea of daddy issues later…). What I’m getting at is the so called happiness that people get is often from all the wrong places. Social norms have become completely skewed. We are expected to go out into the world and do what we want, pursue our own desires, and disregard others. There’s so much more that can be done when we do not place our own needs first. We need to think of others, be bold and courageous- making decisions because we know they are right, not choosing the easy way out.

Life should be lived in a way as to make an impact, and not for ourselves. There’s a bigger purpose. That’s what I’m getting at- perspective. When we take a step back and look at our lives as God has meant them to be lived, we know that it might be hard and will definitely be against what society says, but it will be worth it. And beyond that, a life lived for God is a life lived where we love all despite choices made, put the needs of others in front of our own, and pass no judgment. We believe that there is no such thing as a lost cause, and we know it is not our job to change people (since only God can), but to share with them where our joy comes from. It has always been difficult for me to understand why society sees this as “wrong” and “misguided” when Snooki is out getting orange tanned and pregnant from some Jersey whore, yet gains publicity and support… but that’s a whole different matter.

Anyways, my late night tangents become a bit befuddled after a while, and I’m not quite sure what my original point was. Before I go to sleep, I will leave with the thought that perspective leads to clarity; clarity does not mean happiness or an easy life, just an understanding and a will to press on. Keep pressing on for the right reason and spread love and generosity not for your own purposes, but because you believe in it. God can change people and you never know where he will lead you in life, so have faith and trust without any doubts or wrong intentions. 

-M

Well, its 1:42 am as I’m starting this. It’s been months since I’ve blogged and well, I have no pen to write in my journal. I just want to comment on how life is one big roller coaster ride; sometimes it’s the best thing ever, and other times you are nauseated and cannot get off. Right now I keep reevaluating where I think I’m at. I’m going through the part of the ride that keeps you guessing. The funny thing is when I start to relax and not try to anticipate what’s next- you know, just go with the flow and accept the inevitable- that’s when I begin to enjoy the ride. Fussing over details that I probably cannot change anyways, that’s the part when I’m nauseous and am not allowed off. The ride is going to keep going whether you want it to or not. It may slow down or continue like a kiddy ride, or it may be leading up to a drop like the Goliath. The point is, it will continue regardless. Start trusting and stop worrying. It will go on and it will always be changing. Just be happy that you’re still riding. With that, I also want to say that prayers are answered how and when we need them to be, not want. And often times, the answer is no. It may not make sense now, and you may not ever see how it is better that way, but it always is. So once again, start trusting and stop worrying. Just keep swimming :) I’m not sure what’s in store for me or if the circumstances will turn out the way I want them to, but I am going to enjoy the ride and be thankful for what is. There’s too much positive to let negativity or doubt get in the way. Everyone will try to bring you down, so it’s on yourself to keep positive. Love yourself, know who you are. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it is that you always have something to offer because nobody else can be you. Be bold and confident and live a life to be proud of. Don’t let anyone limit you. You are stronger than you think. When you are happy and confident, others will find themselves enjoying your presence. Give with all of your heart, because that is all you have to offer. Money, gifts, things like that, they weren’t yours in the first place. Your love is yours, and only you have the ability to share it. And guess what, it only runs out if you let it. With that, I need sleep. My late night rambling might be hard to follow….

I may or may not have finished off a tub of frosting… Right after eating three bowls of noodles.